Top 10 Swiss Faux Pas

Yes I realize that it’s early to already have a Top 10 list of blunders I’ve made ranging from the mildly amusing to the mortifying but here it is.  Might as well pass along the laughs!

10) Jaywalking

I never realized what a horrible jaywalker I was until I moved to Switzerland.  I absentmindedly cross the street outside of crosswalks, walk when the sign is red, and gasp have even crossed the street in a bike line.   

While I couldn't find a picture of one of us jaywalking, here's Donovan demonstrating how not to properly use one of the beautiful drinking fountains that dot the sidewalks.

9) I smile at people on the street

Unlike Southerners, the Swiss do not smile without reason.  I thought the embassy was kidding when they said you had to bring a non-smiling head shot.  They were not kidding and as Nimisha and Gerry know, I had to have my picture taken three times at CVS before it was properly stoic.    

8) I make jokes at work

While the expats always appreciate a laugh, the Swiss do not find my jokes funny and I’m generally met with blank stares.

7) I forget to pre-weigh my produce

In Swiss grocery stores, everybody weighs and tags their produce prior to check-out.  It took me three trips to the grocery store to realize why the cashiers kept talking to me sternly in German and wagging their fingers.

6) I attempted to steal somebody else’s grocery cart and grocery bag within the same shopping trip

Swiss grocery carts require a ~ $2 deposit even though you’re just walking around the store with it.  If a grocery cart releases when you tug on it, this means somebody else paid for it.  Ooops!  Likewise, the Swiss bring their own grocery store logoed bags to haul the groceries home and do the bagging themselves.  If you see a bag lying around, it’s not for the taking.  Double ooops!

5)  I’m boisterous, some would say loud

Without fail, our group is the loudest on any train ride or in any restaurant. 

Here we are at our quietest - smiling for a picture

4) I dislike the local beer

Every Swiss canton (their version of state) has their own local brewery.  Basel’s is Feldschlösschen which can only be described as bad Miller.  I love the local wine however Novartis serves Feldschlösschen at every company event.

3) I offer to help people in need

Continuing along the theme of a Southern upbringing, I generally try to help others who look like they could use a hand.  In Switzerland, the more mature generation would prefer to stand than take my seat on the tram and mothers would prefer to perform acrobatics than allow me to assist them in getting their stroller down the stairs. 

2) I talk to random people

Do not talk to Swiss people unless you know them.  Do not make idle small talk in the line at the grocery store.  Do not breathe a word if they’re sitting beside you on the train.  Especially do not compliment unfamiliar Swiss on their pets, babies, or fancy-looking cars.

And the #1 gaffe I’ve made in Switzerland is …

1)  I kissed my boss*

 *Disclaimer – The kiss was accidental.  The Swiss typically kiss on the cheek alternating three times.  My French boss went for two as is the French custom while I went for three like I’d learned and well the result was unfortunate. 

I’m enjoying living in Switzerland, social faux pas and all.  Hopefully I won’t be unseating the #1 mistake above any time soon or really ever J