Cool as a Cucumber

Between traveling and working, it’s easy to get behind on other responsibilities so on Sunday I skipped out on a day trip to France and headed to the local Starbucks to be a good friend and write somebody’s grad school recommendations.  Yes Starbucks is a stereotypical American hangout but on a Sunday in Switzerland one’s choices are limited to Starbucks, the train station, or a handful of gas stations.  Four months in and I still have no idea what everybody does on Sunday. 

I met my friend Said at Starbucks; we got oversized lattes and settled into work.  A sudden commotion broke me from my productive trance.  Two guys of north African descent were yelling at each other in French.  Not that unusual in NYC or even parts of Boston but in Switzerland I feel like I’m yelling when I speak in my normal voice.  Then one of the guys pulled a hammer from his satchel, lunged at the second guy, and began chasing him around Starbucks.  They ran out and Said who is Lebanese and speaks French explained to me that they were having an argument over a girl.

The most baffling component of the whole incident was not the fight or the fact that some guy was carrying around a hammer on a Sunday afternoon at Starbucks.  Rather it was that none of the Swiss customers seemed perturbed.  Most of them didn’t bat an eye, put down their cappuccinos, or even look up from their German edition Wall Street journals as two crazy, hammer wielding men chased each other around Starbucks.          

The phrase “cool as a cucumber” doesn’t even begin to adequately describe the Swiss.         

Things that baffle Europeans about Americans

• Colloquial expressions & idioms
• I’ve had a heck of a time explaining the relevance of “fell by the wayside”, “drop of a hat”, “more than one way to skin a cat”, etc
•  They also don’t understand why we use soda, coke, & pop to represent the same product
• Our sense of humor
• Nobody seems to find “that’s what she said” amusing
• Everybody wonders why Americans haven’t embraced Arrested Development and enjoy Family Guy
• Our love of big cars & our reluctance to use either our feet or public transportation
• Why we talk so much about so little
• Our perpetual air of informality
• To a European, “hey what’s up” is not an appropriate greeting
• Similarly every email should have a formal salutation & personal closing such as best regards, sincerely, etc
• Our insistence on showering and wearing fresh clothing everyday
• My boss wears the same shirt Monday - Wednesday.  Seriously
• The coffee - they hate our coffee

Swiss Work Life

10) The crazy company-wide vacation policies

Every employee is required to take at least one continuous two-week vacation annually.  Three vacation days are gifted simply for moving apartments.  Although I only started in June, I get 13 days of vacation – 3 more than I got for the whole year in my old life. 

Team Basel standing in front of the $300M Frank Gehry building

9) The fake bird nests that house the fake bird noises

Yes it took us about a month to realize that the birds’ nests dotting campus were fake.

8) The genuine approach to work/life balance

Nobody calls or emails you on the weekend.  Campus closes at 8PM - I’ve been kicked out of the building multiple times by the security guard. 

7) The reading and reflection spots

At a minimum, most buildings have an atrium.  Then there’s the bamboo garden, Japanese reflecting pool with rare fish, North American forest, hidden away libraries, rooftop reading nooks, etc. 

Imported Japanese fish

6) The company wine

What company doesn’t own several of their own vineyards?  And yes, their wine is delicious.

5) The suited guards who greet you in the morning

Some mornings I wonder if I’m going to my office or the White House.

4) The lunching/coffee culture with a smorgasbord of international dining options

Should you take your morning cappuccino at the French café or would you rather sip Turkish coffee while sitting on Moroccan rugs?  Lunch brings new decisions – Indian?  Thai?  Tapas?  Sushi?  Italian?  Four different ice cream carts magically appear during lunch.

Clarke has a Moroccan coffee

3) The other ridiculous amenities

Let’s see besides the previously mentioned wine, ice cream carts, & culinary tour of the world, main campus has a dry cleaners, several libraries, grocery store, several physicians, fully stocked pharmacy, and post office.  Did I mention the archeological dig site?  What about the five saunas at the gym?    

One of the reflection spots with an imported bonsai tree

2) The altruistic arm

Novartis continues to do great work eradicating diseases such as malaria

And the #1 reason I love working in Switzerland is …

1)  Novartis Day

I think I may be spoiled for life.

Best European Work Week Ever

As the title suggests, I recently had my Best Work Week Ever!  Not only did I have the opportunity to go on a company financed trip to Austria to see my classmate Bayan (see previous post) but I also had a breakthrough with my co-workers. 

In my old life, I baked personalized birthday cupcakes for my department, threw baby showers, and had a few lunch time running & happy hour groups.  Middle-aged co-workers invited me to their kids’ birthday parties, tried to set me up with their nephews, and occasionally cried on my shoulder.  After two and a half months of trying to befriend my new co-workers and majorly striking out, I’d grown accustomed to the cordial but distant Swiss work environment.  I’d acquiesced to the fact that my workplace was just that - all work & no play.

Then out of the blue after a brief and sterile discussion on cost accounting:
French co-worker Christine: “Are you going to the futbol game tonight?”
Me: “What futbol game?” (Wondering does she need a ticket, does she think I have extras?)
So I accompanied Christine to the game that evening and had a blast cheering on Novartis.  A few nights later, we went to the spa together.

The next day after a brief and sterile discussion on forecasting:
Swiss co-worker Sasha: “My wife’s birthday is this weekend”.
Me: “Oh that’s nice.  What are you doing to celebrate?” (Hmmm that’s strange, Sasha barely says good morning most days.)
Sasha: “Do you like children?”
Me: “Um yes.” (Wondering, is he going to ask me to babysit? Wow he must be desperate since I didn’t even know he had children even though we’ve sat beside each other for 2.5 months.)
Sasha: “We’re going to have a BBQ, let me give you details”.
So I went to Sasha’s wife’s birthday party BBQ and had a great time eating bratwursts, playing futbol with the kids and charming guests with my appalling command of the German language.   

A few days later:
German co-worker Gayog: “Emily, come look at this.” pointing to his computer screen
Me: “Sure.” (Oh no, there must have been an error in the file I sent Gayog since he normally doesn’t speak to me unless he needs me to do something.)
Gayog: chuckling “Look at this cool car.”
Me: Wow I’ve never seen this guy crack a smile let alone chuckle.  He normally stares at me blankly when I make jokes.

It’s continued this way ever since.  Though the Europeans may be a bit slower to warm up than Americans, when they do warm up its genuine and I’m enjoying reaping the much improved workplace benefits.   

Where's the Factory?

Ah the smell of cow dung & ammonia – last week on a business trip to Kundl, Austria I learned that rural manufacturing is strikingly similar across industries and continents.  Need to locate a rural factory?  Just follow that prognostic smell. 

Another comforting similarity was the friendliness of the locals and their eagerness to make sure all your needs were attended too.  I found the Austrians warm, inviting, amazingly accommodating, and zealous to share their country.  They wanted to walk me to and from the train station, watch my delight at sinking my teeth into the first bite of Mozart chocolate, tell me the best places to try Wiener Schnitzel, and teach me about the traditional style of dress.  

Bayan with Kufstein fortress

I also had the pleasure of getting to catch up with my friend Bayan who lives nearby in Kufstein.  Bayan came to my rescue Sunday night when the only hotel in the village was closed and the factory guard couldn’t find the key that was supposed to have been left for me although that may have been partially due to my limited German and minimal charades ability.  I was beginning to have visions of sleeping in a hay bale or barn.  Thanks Bayan!

Innsbruck

Innsbruck is an hour and a half from the factory by train.  Bayan generously took an afternoon off and we walked all around the old city, visited the town’s cathedral, ate lunch at an outdoor café, and people watched in the main square.

Innsbruck square

One of my favorite events of the day was watching an oversized game of chess in the park.  The two men playing attracted quite a crowd and it was a lively atmosphere.

Chess in the park - the farther gentleman emerged victorious

American business trips will never quite feel the same.

FC Basel

Continuing with our newfound, World Cup induced love of futbol, the gang decided to take in the season opener of FC Basel against our arch rival FC Zurich.  FC Basel is of course sponsored by none other than Novartis – the company patron saint of seemingly all of Basel.  Novartis has infused lots of money in the team and we’ve won the Swiss futbol title five times in the past eight years. It took a herculean effort to even get tickets.  Let me tell you how challenging filling out online ticket forms in Swiss German untranslatable by even the famed Google translator was.  Nevertheless, we got decked out in the team color, red, to cheer on the team and showed up at will call the night of the game not really knowing what to expect.

Inexplicably we ended up with fantastic, front-row seats all the better to see all the action both on and off the field.  The persona of the orderly, misanthropic Swiss seemed to dissipate before our eyes the closer we got to the stadium.  For the first time since arriving in Switzerland, our group was not the most rambunctious; quite the contrary really as we gazed around the stadium at the throngs of warring Zurich and Basel fans. 

We were seated near the main operational base of FC Zurich and my were they organized.  There was no haphazard cheering or weak wave attempts.  Thousands of them mysteriously chanted in unison.  The part I found most intriguing was the firecrackers and smoke bombs many of the fans set off.  At some points, it was challenging to see the field through the smoke - In the US, you’d have been tasered.

FC Basel overcame an early deficient to win the game 3-2.  The crowd went wild!  The players on both teams demonstrated a heartwarming show of European sportsmanship by making their way slowly around the perimeter of the field applauding their fans. 

Our group may well need a few pointers from the team.  We’ve signed up for the Novartis Cup later in the month: 5 on 5, 20 minute games, bracket-style elimination.  Team name: Nein Nein Fraulein.   

Top 10 Swiss Faux Pas

Yes I realize that it’s early to already have a Top 10 list of blunders I’ve made ranging from the mildly amusing to the mortifying but here it is.  Might as well pass along the laughs!

10) Jaywalking

I never realized what a horrible jaywalker I was until I moved to Switzerland.  I absentmindedly cross the street outside of crosswalks, walk when the sign is red, and gasp have even crossed the street in a bike line.   

While I couldn't find a picture of one of us jaywalking, here's Donovan demonstrating how not to properly use one of the beautiful drinking fountains that dot the sidewalks.

9) I smile at people on the street

Unlike Southerners, the Swiss do not smile without reason.  I thought the embassy was kidding when they said you had to bring a non-smiling head shot.  They were not kidding and as Nimisha and Gerry know, I had to have my picture taken three times at CVS before it was properly stoic.    

8) I make jokes at work

While the expats always appreciate a laugh, the Swiss do not find my jokes funny and I’m generally met with blank stares.

7) I forget to pre-weigh my produce

In Swiss grocery stores, everybody weighs and tags their produce prior to check-out.  It took me three trips to the grocery store to realize why the cashiers kept talking to me sternly in German and wagging their fingers.

6) I attempted to steal somebody else’s grocery cart and grocery bag within the same shopping trip

Swiss grocery carts require a ~ $2 deposit even though you’re just walking around the store with it.  If a grocery cart releases when you tug on it, this means somebody else paid for it.  Ooops!  Likewise, the Swiss bring their own grocery store logoed bags to haul the groceries home and do the bagging themselves.  If you see a bag lying around, it’s not for the taking.  Double ooops!

5)  I’m boisterous, some would say loud

Without fail, our group is the loudest on any train ride or in any restaurant. 

Here we are at our quietest - smiling for a picture

4) I dislike the local beer

Every Swiss canton (their version of state) has their own local brewery.  Basel’s is Feldschlösschen which can only be described as bad Miller.  I love the local wine however Novartis serves Feldschlösschen at every company event.

3) I offer to help people in need

Continuing along the theme of a Southern upbringing, I generally try to help others who look like they could use a hand.  In Switzerland, the more mature generation would prefer to stand than take my seat on the tram and mothers would prefer to perform acrobatics than allow me to assist them in getting their stroller down the stairs. 

2) I talk to random people

Do not talk to Swiss people unless you know them.  Do not make idle small talk in the line at the grocery store.  Do not breathe a word if they’re sitting beside you on the train.  Especially do not compliment unfamiliar Swiss on their pets, babies, or fancy-looking cars.

And the #1 gaffe I’ve made in Switzerland is …

1)  I kissed my boss*

 *Disclaimer – The kiss was accidental.  The Swiss typically kiss on the cheek alternating three times.  My French boss went for two as is the French custom while I went for three like I’d learned and well the result was unfortunate. 

I’m enjoying living in Switzerland, social faux pas and all.  Hopefully I won’t be unseating the #1 mistake above any time soon or really ever J

World Cup Delirium

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I don't remember the 2006 World Cup.  I was living in the bustling metropolis of Towanda, Pennsylvania at the time where life revolved around hunting, chewing tobacco flavors, and caravaning to the town's high school football team away games.  In Europe, the World Cup has been the only thing that matters.  Country flags adorn nearly every window and balcony in Basel.

Co-workers wear country jersey's to work and fill out brackets with an intensity and creativity I never saw in my eighteen years during March Madness living in the heart of ACC territory.  Businesses feature World Cup specials from cakes (see below) to drink specials.

During the earlier rounds with day time games, Novartis set up giant outdoor screens with free food and drinks.  I remember distinctly my second week, sitting outside watching a game eating my free bratwurst as one of the many beer waitresses came around refilling drinks thinking that I had died and gone to work heaven.  Later rounds meant 8:30PM games when all Swiss people have long since left work so we started attending public viewings.  Basel is uniquely positioned to give inhabitants the flexibility to literally walk to France or Germany so we began attending game viewings in their home country.  Below is a German game we attended in Freiburg.

Of course we had to join in the local festivities and made friends to outfit us in German attire.  The picture below features Kevin having a German flag drawn on him.

Here's the end result

Though I may not be living in Europe during the 2014 World Cup, I hope to bring some of the fervor I've witnessed wherever I am.